Wednesday, 22 October 2014

The Difference Between Parents From Kenya, USA and UK


DjLaser

DjLaser
In U.S....this is my lovely wife.
In Britain..this is my lovely queen.
In Kenya...huyu ndiye mama watoto
In USA, when going to work, wife says "have fun at work hunie"
In UK, wife says "see you later sweery"
In Kenya, wife says "Chelewa leo tena utaona"
In US husband tells his wife, you look smart in that new dress.
In UK, i miss to walk with you in that dress my dear.
In kenya, inaonekana manager ameanza kukufungia macho.... ukitoka na hiyo nguo tafuta kwenye utarudi..
In the US..dear, i enjoy this walk (walking hand in hand, to bus stage)
In the UK..its my turn to drive
In Kenya...mama mwangi, tanguria nikupate stage
When a student fails an exam, the father says,
In the UK- you can still do better darling,
In the US. Yes you can, I know you can,

In Kenya- kumbe niriuza ngo'mbe ndio nipereke ng'ombe ingine shule!

Tuesday, 21 October 2014

Statuses we would be updating on Social Media if we were in the times of Moses, Noah, Adam and Abraham

Statuses we would be updating on
Social Media if we were in the
times of Moses, Noah, Adam and
Abraham:
1. Guys its scary, Lot's wife just
turned into a pillar of salt.
#shaking
2. Pimping my camel, Jerusalem
here I come...
3. Just chilling in first class at
Noah's ark, the view here is
fantastic.. But these Lions
keep staring at me weird. ‪#‎Noah‬
'svoyage
4.Chilling with Moses by Mt
Sinai...miracles be going down
here.
5. Eve and hubby got banished,
they ate the forbidden fruit. I
mean who
does that? # smh
6. Jacob's status: Things we do for
love, cant believe I served her
father for 14 years just to get her.
Love u Rachel!
7. Some people are so cruel!
Cain how do u kill your own
brother? # RIPAbel
8. One of Jesus' disciples post:
What a long day...Walking and
preaching the gospel. Now
chilling with my brothers. These
guys
are funny...LLP! (Laughing Like
pharoah)
9. Isaac: Damn, dad nearly
sacrifised me... #selfiewithram
ya'll
10. Mary: Joseph is not replying
my whatsapp messages. He still
thinks i cheated...Grow up duh!
12. Jezebel: Victoria Secret is da
bomb...
13. Cant believe Elisha just
allowed bears to eat up those
children. #Like seriously?
14. Samson: My chick sold me
out...I'm going to bring the roof
down on this party.
15. Judas did what? That bro ain't
loyal. ‪#‎smh‬
hahahaahha